If there was one thing I took away from my trip to Japan that will stick with me forever, and no, it's not an STD, it's that Japan goes to show that a country can actually work, and work well. I'm sure there are problems (Tokyo is TOO big, for one) but simple good service, courtesy and respect remain.

So, how is Japan better than the rest of the world?

1) SHINKANSEN - they take the French TGV, make it faster and say 'non merci' to French Unions and their notoriously annoying strikes. This means that in 2006, the Shinkansen was on average 36 seconds late. THIRTY-SIX SECONDS! Plus they look cool, like you want to stroke it, and the ticket inspectors and pretty trolley girls bow when they enter and exit the carriage. And of course the environment smiles as domestic aeroplane flights are reduced. Smashing.

2) LOCAL PUBLIC TRANSPORT - it goes where you want to go, you can set your watch by it, nobody uses their phone and bellows to their Mrs that they are going to be late 'because Tony at work shredded the docs', they are clean, safe and in Naha (a city of only 300,000) they have a MONORAIL. Cool!

And look! They are already building for the future...(NB Teleport machines are carbon neutral)

3) TOYOTA - Toyota world in Tokyo, kind of a giant theme-park/Toyota/Lexus dealership. You can try out ANY Toyota/Lexus on the test track - just purchase a ticket from a vending machine and your car will be lowered down from the elevator... Or maybe sir would welcome a pew in an electric car that drive itself? No need for a chauffeur... Al Gore has been warned not to visit - the amount of hybrid vehicles on offer would lead to a fatally large wet dream.

4) CRIME AND DISORDER - With knife crime in the UK running at an all time high, drunken louts bashing each others heads in and anti-terrorist security measures infringing upon basic human rights the Japanese show it need not be that way. Police are ever-present (real ones, not CCTV), drunken violence is not a problem and security in their airports is both strict and yet efficient. One can check in for a domestic flight 15 minutes before departure and make it onto the plane. Only 30 mintues for an international flight - a point we proved after taking the wrong train to the airport. If only Heathrow could be 10% as good... Just make sure you watch out for these unsavoury characters when in Kyoto:

And just a reminder that terrorism IS a problem outside of the USA/Europe (a fact western media often ignores) a fantastic wife-beater top commemorating the Bali bombings:

5) TRUST - two English people walk into a scooter hire shop. The owner does not speak English, we do not speak Japanglish. We show our driving licences, point to where we are staying, write down how many days we want to hire the scooters for. And we are off. No deposit, endless paperwork or other such tripe. Trust - where has it gone?

Somehow I managed to make this snazzy hog look all YMCA...

6) IT'S THE little things THAT MATTER - as fat boy Andy below shows, why should bollards be solid, so that when you reverse into one by accident it smashes you rear bumper?

They also make convenient seats when waiting for a bus. Don't worry, the bus was on time.

7) BEER - none of this low percent, lesbian beer nonesense in Japan. Nothing but 5% alcohol content plus. Sure, the Japanese aren't the heaviest of drinkers but they do like a pint or three. And beer also elicits an unknown Japanese skill - the skill of being able to speak English, invite you to join them in a (what later turned out to be gay) bar and hit on Andy (who ordered a cocktail to make it worse). They have cans as tall as Western people - that's almost double the size of the average Japanese! And also they make fantastic posters. Really, really, bloody good.

So, UK, USA. If Japan can do it - why can't we???

Undoubtedly automobiles contribute to world carbon dioxide levels and global warming. Even pessimists who do not believe in global warming/think that it is overstated would concede that automobile congestion is becoming intolerable and efficient public transport systems can in many cases provide a sensible alternative. However, the 'solution' of taxing high emissions cars not only appeals to those of an environmental conscience but also to leftists who associate so called gas guzzlers with the wealthy.

So on which side do the politicians lie? The ongoing saga of Porsche Vs London Mayor Ken Livingstone over the issue of increasing the London Congestion Charge to £25/day brings into question the former Labour minister's environmental reasoning.

The motoring press:

Autocar

The Environmentalists:

Greenpeace

Porsche GB:

Porsche News April 09 2008

Whatever peoples' views of gas guzzler taxes, it must be noted that governments have paid a disproportionate amount of attention to motoring related taxes. Yet low-cost flights continue to flourish, homes still lack basic energy saving measures, coal fired power stations continue to be built etc. France makes use of an excellent train network and has very few internal flights compared to the UK as a consequence, despite being a larger country. Governments must take a more balanced approach to environmental protection and recognise the advances automotive manufacturers have made for there is growing scepticism among the mass public.

Three years of study has left a few memories - here are the worst of them:

Always keep on top of the washing up.

If not, stuff as much food into a baguette as possible and do without a plate.

Ditto, always empty the bin.

Or refuse will spread to the sitting room...

When on a budget, try curing your own meat. Not in your own room though.

If you cure meat in someone else's room, do not expect favours in return.

Other people's eggs are golfballs.

5o (Fiddy) Cent must be mocked.

Expect to be inundated at Christmas.

The ensuing political conflict in Zimbabwe prompted me to take another look at my photos from my trip to South Africa and Namibia last year. A good over-view of everything Zimbabwe/Mugabe related can be found on The Economist website The Economist

Talking to people in South Africa highlighted the international nature of the problem in Zimbabwe: millions of people fleeing Zimbabwe for South Africa in order to escape the strife caused by Mugabe's corrupt dictatorship. Such illegal immigration puts further strains on South Africa's public services and heightens racial tensions leading to the primitive culture of fear one experiences when travelling in South Africa. It is about time President Mbeki and other Southern African nations take a firmer stand against Mugabe for it is clear that he is reluctant to relinquish his iron grip. Mugabe's anti-imperialist rebuke to British Prime Minister Gordon Brown's speech to the United Nations earlier this week should sidelined along with the rest of his propaganda. British interests in Zimbabwe are not imperialistic, merely humanitarian. With a global food crisis on the horizon, it is high time the former bread basket of Africa revitalizes its downtrodden agricultural industry.

However, it should be noted as the photo below (taken in Windhoek, Namibia)shows that Mugabe is still a respected figure in Africa.

More than a marketing slogan:

And finally,

As the Mongol Rally proved, you do not need a fully kitted out Land Rover Defender to off-road, a 2x4 will suffice. However, like my Mongol Rally Fiat Cinquecento, the Toyota Corolla hire car did have its fair share of breakdowns. A stone chip in the radiator being a major headache. However, if the rally teaches you one thing it's that there is a mechanic around every corner and Namibia is no different!

Many thanks to Seth for 'A Post on Posting'. Finally done it!

Like the rest of the ralliers on the site, I'm sure you've all been getting the Mongol Rally emails and are feeling very jealous of Ironsides. I wish I was doing it again this year. It's good to see that Ironsides have picked a Fiat in which to tackle the rally. The Pope (as we affectionately called our Italian designed/Polish built Fiat Cinquecento - hence the name) was a brilliant but somewhat unreliable car.

A few Fiat tips:
a) the vibration damper on the driveshaft will break (probably in the Ukraine) meaning that the steering wheel will vibrate manically. However, you will get used to after a while although you may experience a tingling in your hands for weeks after the rally.
b) Poland and the Czech Republic have LOADS of cheap spares. However, after that you will not see another Fiat garage until Almaty, Kazakhstan.
c) make sure the cooling system works BEFORE you leave.
d) Lada parts can be bashed, bent and beaten to fit a Fiat.

Despite not taking part in the rally this year, another car related adventure awaits me this summer... I have decided to drive around South Africa and Namibia. Picking up the car in Cape Town, heading up the Western cape to the Namibian border and then caning around safari parks and sand dunes for a month. Reports will follow in September/October.

Already this year I have been to Paris - gorgeous European city but still can't knock Rome off my number one spot, although it does narrowly get the edge over Barcelona into my top 5. I have also just got back from Hong Kong, carrying out research for my University dissertation. If anyone knows much about the Hong Kong economy and how it has changed in relation to China since 1997 then I would be grateful for any input!

And last but not least, I have still not figured out how to put pictures up on here. I am completely inept when it comes to anything more than typing, so any advice would be appreciated!

A recent interview with a Sunday Paper about the Mongol Rally allowed me the chance to promote the Pan-Am.

Great racers go mad for charity by Caroline Smith, The Sunday Sun

"In Kazakhstan the terrain was very rough, there are basically no roads and we were trying to change tyres to help the suspension but the jack slipped out and almost punctured the fuel tank.

"We were dirty and smelly and had long beards."

Let's get the show on the road!