tommyp's blog

The Mongol Rally has no set route, teams go as far south as Iran and as far north as Scandinavia. Our route took us through 13 different countries and one rogue communist seperatist state where they stole my radio. Here is a simplified map of our route in case you were wondering.

tommyp

The following tragic tale will relate the memory of a Fiat named Diana, chosen to carry a team of American adventures across the globe. Although she gave up her life for three American strangers the evidence will show she wouldn't have had it any other way. Consider this tale her Memoir, her Obituary, her Memorial.

Diana was acquired the 14th of July, 2007 on a random street outside the Upton Park tube station in London from previous owner Nazeem, who was as excited about the prospect of his car going on the rally as we were about taking her. Nazeem was moving his family back to South Africa, and gave us a great deal on a great little machine.

See, pretty from all angles.

Diana remained at rest until the 21st of July when she joined 160 or so other specially selected vehicles to attempt the most difficult transeurasian trek known to man.

Smooth sailing on the first days of the rally, Diana rests at a truck stop in Germany for a breather.

Diana pulled along leading the convoy until a blown alternator at the Slovakian border cost us a night alone in a truck stop. The other car in our convoy pressed on the Bratislava, and sent a tow truck to retrieve our fallen warrior.

Because the tow truck was only large enough to carry two passengers, I was the most logical choice to leave behind. Without a phone or means to communicate with my teammates, I hitch hiked in the first of many vehicles it would require to get me to Mongolia. Certainly not the prettiest, but definitely the roomiest.

Moritz and Felix two great Danes from Copenhagen kept me company on the two hour drive to Bratislava, before continuing on to Hungary. Only Felix spoke some English so we chatted at great length about comic books and his dog Rexus.(on my return to the USA, I received a postcard from Hungary signed by Felix and Rexus)

After a random mechanic gave us a deal on an alternator repair we pressed on without issue in high spirits. Diana was running great, the weather was beautiful, and we were making good time to Odessa, through Hungary, Romania, Moldova, and the hell state of Transnistria.

This is Diana appalled at petrol prices and fuel quality in Romania

After a few days rest in Odessa, Ukraine we pushed on, taking a rare stop to enjoy the beach on the northern Black Sea, known as the Sea of Azov. Here, Diana takes in the view with the Rabbit Chaser and enjoys the cool sea breeze.

In Volgograd, Russia, Diana enjoys some site seeing including a visit to the Battle of Stalingrad WWII Memorial, which moved her into commenting on the useless loss of 1.5 million lives in the monumental battle.

Being a valuable member of Team Ironsides, and therefore having experience on the open sea, Diana fared the river crossing into Kazakhstan better than some of her companions. Alex sleeps soundly in the back, as usual.

After heading North from Atyrau, KZ, Diana finally met her match on the Road to Aqtobi. Long forgotten Soviet tarmac spread the length of the 500 mile stretch, ripping and pulling at the bottom of our cars. It wasn't a matter of hitting things, it was a matter of how hard you hit them. Shortly into the trek, Diana's rear left shock finally rusted through the trunk, severing her critical wiring.

After the wires had been reconnected with electrical tape and securely relocated, the loose shock was hose clamped to the body of the car, which unfortunately didn't stop the noise or the dust from streaming into the car.

Diana was determined however and pressed on through the blazing sun, leading the convoy she so loved. Against all odds she held her head high and plowed through the Kazakh dust, blinded, but with an inner vision of better days ahead.

Despite her determination, Diana encountered a minor flat tire from the bucking and banging she received in the absence of a shock absorber. Having had her emergency break snapped by a Kiwi back in Slovakia, she refused to cooperate on a car jack, so she had to be constrained between two other rally cars, so she wouldn't roll onto someone's head.

Back on the road heading to Kostonay, KZ, proved to be a formidable challenge for our heroine. Unidentified sounds and smokes confused even the Kiwis. After stopping at a number of garages we were disheartened about the status of our beloved Diana. The road to Kostonay was unpleasant with feelings of imminent doom surrounding the convoy. Diana took it well, whimpering to herself, but puttering on for the team. By Kostonay, or Kocknob, as it had then become, things were not looking good. A mechanic diagnosed the car as having a fried head bearing, news which came as a surprise because there appeared to be no obvious damage. The loss of oil pressure continued to baffle, and many theories were tested and put into motion. It was not until leaving Kocknob after three horrible days that the source of Diana's soon to be fatal blow was realized. On a whim only a Kiwi can possess, Chris directed us to pull her onto a lift so we could remove the oil sump and check the pump intake. The grotesque spectacle that met us bombarded us with guilt and horror at what we had done to our car.

Diana, riding low, but sitting high

The broken oil intake, which greedily prevented oil circulation back into our engine.

The culprit identified!

Tim helps...

while Fudge looks away in horror

Magician/Kiwi Chris fixes the broken oil intake.

With optimism at identifying and fixing the source of our troubles, the convoy pushes on. For thirty glorious km Diana marches on, ridiculed, defeated, she strives to prove all of us wrong. But Alas, to what will Will not stoop. In a final puff of grayish blue smoke Diana would have no more. And there on a sorry plain 60 miles east of Kostonay, Diana met her end.

with heavy hearts, we are prepared for the worst, and reorganize our vehicles so that we as a convoy can continue east.

Here, Joya cleans out the car and says her goodbyes in her own way.

A head stone is laid as a final memorial to Diana, our beloved rally car and companion. Joya pours one out for our fallen homie.

I mourn by hitting the Vod, in traditional Kazakh fashion.

A testament to how many people were touched by the memorable run of Diana, the Fiat.

The Final Resting Place of Diana, A Fiat, A Rally Car, A Trouper, A Friend.

Diana October 1994 - August 2007

An unlikely hero who took on the world in the true "Spirit of the Mongol Rally"

Hey Everyone!
Finally some pictures from the Road, enjoy.

Five Minutes In (London)

(This image depicts the shock of our beloved Diana, which has rusted through the trunk and severed the cars electrical. Although fixed, it will later contribute to Diana's fatal blow)

More to come shortly, please keep checking back.

tommyp

Hayo!  Team Ironsides is officially united for the first time in London.  Alex and I joined JOya today who met us at the airport making things that much closer and that much more real.  Alex and I flew from Burlington with little incident besides a couple of minor delays.  The biggest hassle we sustained was in Longan in Boston due to our One Way flight status.  Apparently thats a red flag or something. We arrived at 7:30 this morning and made it through immigration with no problems, except for a sideways glance at my answer for reason of entry.  Having recently lost our accomodations to rather unfortunate but bizzare circumstances, Alex and I found ourselves homeless until a member from Team Micragolia stepped up in a big way and offered us accomodations for a night or two until we get settled.  We'll be meeting her in a couple of hours and staying with her mum and her.  What better way to experience London, right? being homeless, with two months worth of baggage over your shoulder.  Big snaps to Nettie for stepping it up and really helping us out. (check out their website at http://www.micragolia.com and help them out with fundraising if you can)  Otherwise we're settling in, Alex is passed out on a floor in a random apartment, and has been for some time.  Apparently the inflight entertainment on Virgin Atlantic was too much to pass up so he didn't get much sleep (for the record though i kicked his ass twice in a game of interactive Battleship)  Joya is also here with us, relaxing watching some BDs Grey's Anatomy.  We are all well and excited about the week ahead and will keep everyone posted as things arise.  please check back again soon... 

Hey Everyone,It's certainly been a while.  I have indeed survived my medical experiment with great ease, and although the scum bags have yet to pay me, I am excited for my impending flight with little more than a back pack and a handful of cash.  I would love to say everything has come together like a well oiled machine, since the result is still a couple of weeks away, we can't yet be sure.  currently we rest at the will of the system.  The DVLA (Britain's DMV) holds in their hands the documents which will give us official ownership of our beloved fiat uno, so we wait on their decision.  ALthough we leave Tomorrow, Alex's passport is still at the embassy of Kazakhstan in D.C.  We have been assured it will be overnighted to us by tomorrow morning before our flight.  but we will see.  Luckily all of this is out of our hands so we forge ahead with packing and goodbyes becoming evermore anxious and excited for the next couple of weeks.  I am confident that Ironsides will pull through flawlessly as we will not be dragged low by the weight of the empire. Alex and I are headed to London tomorrow afternoon at which point, Team Ironsides will convene for the first time ever to prepare for the rally.  You will all be updated on notable and unnotable events, please keep checking back, things are about to get interesting...

Hey Everyone. So I have officially incarcerated myself. as of 1:30 Monday the 7th of May, I will be locked away at the Brigham & Women's Hospital In Boston for a 28 day sleep study. After weeks of screening, and regulated diet/sleep I have been accepted as worthy. I will be living for 28 days in a white room, vacant of any time cues. This means, no sunlight, no clocks, no television, no radio. Basically me and a pile of books. i will be wired 24 hrs a day for detailed monitoring by a EEG, EKG, an EMG, and EOG (yes these are all real things) 23 wires will lead from my person to a hole in the wall. I will be unable to leave, or contact anyone in the outside except through the mail. So if you have the urge to write a letter, please do, I will include the address at the bottom. I encourage you to send me fun things to do, newspaper articles, books, mixed CDs would be particularly amazing as I am going to have a ridiculous amount of time on my hands. when I get out, the rally will be rapidly approaching, but until then, I hand the helm over to Alex Switzer and Joya. If you have questions or want information, please contact them. Ironsides, forward! I'm going to sleep now. See you in June.

i live here now...

Thomas Heitkamp
c/o Kate Berkenbush
Division of Sleep Medicine
221 Longwood Ave. Rm. 446
Boston, MA 02115

(be creative, just don't send any food or anything with time pieces or things that will give away time of day. if you aren't sure you probably shouldn't send it.)

I am still a pending lab rat for an upcoming sleep study. I have made it through two sections of the screening process. Apparently my body checks out, and I sleep long enough. Now, they have to determine whether or not i am psychologically sound enough...discuss amongst yourselves.

I am back to maintaining a sleep log which restricts my diet, (no alcohol, caffeine, chocolate)and regulating my sleep schedule. I am required to be in bed by 12:41am overnight, and I can't leave my bed until 10:26am the next morning. life is difficult, I've never felt so rested in all my life. today I woke up a little early, and was required (yes required) to lounge in the sun, in my bed until 10:26. As I lay there I put on some pleasant music (Kid Koala-"Music For Morning People")and planned out my day- breakfast(granola,banana,grape juice), digging, lunch, digging, coaching the pole vault at my old high school, dinner, and I'm rapidly approaching bedtime. These are the things I'm getting paid to do and think about.

In preparation of the endeavor, I have been sleeping mostly and trying to get outside as much as possible before I get locked away. This has been comprised mostly of hole digging, Jono Newton and I have been picking away at a defenseless hillside for the past week where I can make my residence this summer in the preceding month before the rally. I'm really trying to cut down on my expenses.

Anyway, that's enough for me. I was hoping to post some pictures, but I didn't think anyone needed to see me lounging in the sun, or eating breakfast. Maybe I'll take some hole photos and post them in the upcoming day. exciting, right? well you'll have to wait and check back. I promise, you're going to want to see this. enough. ok bye.

Also: They Might Be Giants are playing at Higher Ground in Winooski, VT on the 4th of May. If you're reading this, It means you're hip enough to visit this site, and therefore are hip enough to be a TMBG fan. I hope to see you there.

Team Ironsides continues to forge ahead with preparations for this summer. We have received a handful of generous donations which have put us well on our way to our goals. Thank you to all those who have donated, already. Secondly, we would like to announce the latest addition to our team, Alex Switzer, a youthful adventurer who should prove to be an excellent addition to the current line-up. Having traveled great distances with Alex in the past, I can attest to his driving capability, love of roadside food, and ability to turn a straightforward road trip into a horror film. A finer third driver we could never have expected to take the place of the mysterious Jon.

Although it currently does not feel like it, spring is approaching rapidly which means Ironsides must begin to mount up for the events of the summer. In preparation, JOya will be fundraising overseas, Alex will take the domestic front talking to friends and neighbors looking for support, while I will be sleeping. In lieu of my empty wallet and shriveled bank account, I have opted to sell my body to science in order to fund this adventure. In a couple of weeks, I hopefully will be accepted to enter a pretty little white room at the Brigham Women's Hospital in Boston to sleep for funds. I will be locked in a room with no time cues of any type for 28 days, while being subject to physical and mental tests determined by my agreement to sleep 10 hours a night. Apparently the Library Challenge was only a prelude to something bigger. During this time I will be cut off from the outside world, except by snail mail, which will hopefully inform me of the happenings of the world. As far as I know, we are the only team sleeping our way to Mongolia.

And so I ask you, what are you willing to do for adventure? If you don't support our stupidity by participating in the Mongol Rally, at least acknowledge our dedication and ingenuity.

DONATE HERE.

Team Ironsides officially announces its participation in the 2007 Mongol Rally. This will mark the second involvement of a Bad Colonies team, and hopefully the start of something beautiful. After Wednesday's fiasco, we decided to attack the registration a little more systematically; with two supercomputers from either side of the GMT. (or a laptop and a dial-up connection from Columbo). After three minutes, JOya was able to get in, no problem. Pretty uneventful really, but exciting none the less, I have started breathing again, and my blood pressure has declined to a normal rate. Look for serious updates to follow, we will be setting up a team page on the Official Mongol Rally site so be sure to check it out. It feels good to be done and on our way. Forward Ironsides!

I wanted to give a quick Shout Out to Bob Mohr at Hello Auto Finance Inc. for being out first official online donor! Thanks Bob. He has broken new ground and we applaud him for his support of philanthropic stupidity. Now follow his lead, and likewise, become a Legend.