Welcome to the comprehensive and sort of thorough home of the Bad Colonies' Mongol Rally experience. Some time ago in the year 2006, we actually drove from London to Mongolia because we thought it would be fun. Its a pretty sad state of affairs, but 14 hours at the Ukranian border actually does seem fun looking back. So the thing is that we survived, actually finished in one piece, and now we have a much of tiresome stories and out of focus photos.

I have tried to make this page a summary of the trip with links to cars, photos and videos pages for further detail. In addition, you will find links to the detailed blog posts in the right column of each section of the trip. Enjoy - Seth

 

Bad Colonies competed in the 2006 Mongol Rally to support the following fine charities. Click Logos for more information


Critical Rally Stuff

fiesta back seat cushions - outdoor mattress for the wanderer

wiffle ball bat and 5 lb hammer - grasshopper hunting weapons for charlie and james

wiffle balls - for occupying vicious drug sniffing German Shepards at the border

mannequin leg - for dumbfounding authority figures

Rocks - for rock game

Awake Coffee - for helping others fix their car

Fan belts - for throwing at bottle while waiting for wanderer caught between borders

Rebar - for hand clutch

extremely small phillips screwdriver - for adjusting the volume of the Fiesta car stereo

dust on cars - negotiating price of fuel, parts and labor, etc

sunscreen - erasing the profanity laced sharpie and paintstick writing that the Brits put on the cars

normal sized phillips screwdriver - micstand

mono pole and guitar strings - unlocking the Seat

gutter rail on Fiesta roof - Beer Bottle opener

seth's mirrored aviator sunglasses - somewhat fish-eyed shaving mirror


Rally Quotes

more cowbell - Patrick and I used this whenever we needed more volume from the stereo

you're not dealing with morons here - whenever your choice in directions was questioned

we have just ausfahrted the autobahn - Dominic for all of Germany

(insert anything) was a bad choice - Patrick's best "Camel's milk was a bad choice

That would be the poop shovel - Jen during documentary interview

its going to get a lot worse before it gets worse - courtesy of Lily Tomlin - the theme for the trip

oh shit they've got some wolves - James from the Scamp as one big dog tried to climb in the Scamp

my hands, they are tied, i can do nothing - Ukranian border guard

my wife she is a banana - Barry while talking to Kaz construction workers

very safe, very organized - our motto for the rally

so who's going to get beer? - Either Dominic, Patrick, or myself every night

"george bush, too much (gesture shooting guns). not enough (gesture hand shaky shaky)" - Kaz cop and me, it ended with a less than appropriate hand gesture for Angelina Jolie

passport machina - the first words out of any border guards mouth, followed closely by Stampy Stampy

we have many stamped documents - on the side of the Fiesta to reassure the guards

I think you're pretty enlightened for an American - Dave of Dave's place to Dominic

"and i'm from vermont." "that's in canada, right?" - standard interchange between the British and myself

nutburger - no real good explanation

 

London, UK to Prague, CZ
Prague, CZ to Kiev, UA
Kiev, UA to Astrakhan, RU
Astrakhan, RU to Aral, KZ
Aral, KZ to Bishkek, KG
Bishkek, KG to Semey, KZ
Semey, KZ to Kemerovo, RU
Kemerovo, RU to Ulan Batar, MN
 
Vaughn and Dominic went to England early to sort out the cars and replace the various parts that failed while driving around town. Jen and myself arrived on successive days. We all were big time movie stars and drank some beer. Rolled out of London on Sat. late afternoon. Drove through the night and endured multiple car issues. It rained. Jen and I drove the cars as fast as they would go. Made it to Prague mid to late afternoon, its hard to tell. Cars got fixed and we went heavy at the local establishments.
 
With cars running better, we left Prague in the early afternoon and drove until things were really blurry in Poland. There was a gas station and we slept. We made the Polish / Ukraine border early. It sucked, so we stayed for 10 hours. Met up with the Scamp and tried a field, then another border. Met up with the Fiat boys and crossed the border. It was scary in the Ukraine so Jen drove. Slept at another gas station. Drove all day to Kiev, the Scamp died on an uphill, we pushstarted downhill. Jen left, Patrick arrived.
 
After a night of drinking big beers, we got an early start at 2 pm. Drove until some Dukes joined us, then the scamp broke, again. Slept behind bomb shelter / gas station. Made border, Dominic made friends with insurance chiselers. Crossed border late. Avoided scary situation with Lada. Slept in field. Half of convoy got trashed with mechanic dude. Drove some more, fixed Scamp with panty hose, slept on shoulder and got woke up by drunk Russians. Good day of cruising, slept in hotel in Astrakhan.
 
After a day of Scamp repairs, the convoy made it to the border. 6 hours later, the convoy emerged in Kaz. Slept in a field, got harassed by drunk techno playing teenagers in a Lada. Solid days drive, beat the cars up on big Kaz potholes. Camped in a salt flat. Didn't get harassed by drunk people. Took the cars off road, Scamp died. Camped in a field with beers and no Scamp. Dropped the Scamp boys off in Aktobe. The roads were not as good as advertised. More offroad and camping, finally made Aral. The Fiat got stuck.
 
Got sick of high life, rolled out of Aral. Drove a lot, had a bunch of fun with cops in Kzyyyylords. Camped near Turkistan, cops don't like GW, Dukes left convoy. Fiat left convoy. The mountains were big and snowcapped. Dukes located at truck stopped with spring busted up. Drove to Bishkek the wrong way. Met up with Dukes again, place to stay at the Hyatt, comped. Stayed in Bishkek a few days, Fiat back on convoy, lived large, thanks Frank and Ava.
 
Left to Bishkek, enjoyed gas station facilities, crossed border in record time. Drove to, around, and left Almaty. Thanks Andy and James. Camped late in deserty Kaz. Fiat no go, head gasket replaced, Fiat go. Fiat no go, dead and abandoned. The Dukes pick up the stragglers. Seat loses clutch cable, gains clutch boy (passenger hand-operated clutch). Convoy ends, scary night at gas station. Its cold. Drive to Russian border in Semey. Ate fried pork product, really cold near Siberia.
 
At border early, Patrick detained-ish, Rus says no entry, Kaz says no re entry. We buy another cell phone (third). Anne from US Embassy works hard for Patrick, we drink a few beers at roadhouse with fellow rally teams. Spend a couple days sunnying near the border. Patrick disappears back to Kaz. We drive. Cannonball run, our visas expire soon, jail awaits. Fiestavus loses tire at 60 at 2. Miracle at Mercedes Benz dealership in Kemerovo. Back on road, visas closer to expiring
 
Drive until 3 am, sleep on side of road. Roads worse than expected, Seat dies in Siberia 700 miles from finish. 3 stinky ralliers in one Fiestavus, visas still expiring. Drive/sleepdrive through dirt, fog, and mountain. Fiestavus springs leak in gas tank, guy in suit fixes. Make it across border with 15 minutes to spare. Head for UB, brakes gone, suspension gone, no UB on this eve, stay in Darkhaan. Drive early, handbrake into UB, have beers at Dave's. Rally over.
Detailed Posts: 96, 97, 98, 100, 101, 102

Detailed Posts: 103, 104, 105, 106
Jen and the cars in Poland
In line at the Ukraine border
Detailed Posts: 108, 109, 110, 111, 112, 113, 114, 115, 116, 117, 118, 119
Detailed Posts: 121, 123, 124, 126, 127, 128
Detailed Posts: 125, 129, 130, 131, 132
Detailed Posts: 141, 142
Detailed Posts: 143, 144
Detailed Posts: 137, 138, 140, 146, 149, 152, 153
 
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