Man, you know who's got it made? Fucking idiots. Like not people with severe mental disabilities, necessarily (although I suspect some of them are quietly having a blast), but the generally dumb. They're not only the ruling majority in this or any country, but they glide across the world's rough edges on a thick, downy cushion of mild bewilderment not unlike those bumpers they put in the gutters when little kids go bowling. I was paying up at one of my town's two shitty Chinese restaurants last night and this old fat woman was at the register in front of me (of the variety you'd expect to collect either Hummels or state-themed thimbles) and as soon as she completed her transaction, she pressed her hands against one another in front of her chest like the Bangles "Walk Like an Egyptian" dance and loudly said "Sayonara!" to the politely smiling host. Sure, it induced a round of that squeaking-cough sound when you're trying to hold in gales of laughter from everyone within earshot, but can you imagine how worldly and refined she came across in her own eyes? She probably felt like Sir Richard Burton for the rest of the night.

Being smart's an OK time if you're into playing wikipedia for all your stupid friends and worrying about how things you write on the internet will be "construed," but at this point I would much rather be able to sit through an hour of Dancing With the Stars without feeling like there are ants running through my veins than recall the names of villains from 30-year-old children's cartoons any day of the week.

I mean, how sweet would it be to get really, really angry in a bar cause you overheard someone say something and you can't figure out whether or not they were talking about you, and if so whether or not they were making fun of you? I always know when someone's making fun of me and all it does is make me realize that I'm not going to do anything about it.

Full commentary at Vice Mag dot com

None of this nor the rest of the grimness on the front page today will matter a bit, though, if two men pursuing a lawsuit in federal court in Hawaii turn out to be right. They think a giant particle accelerator that will begin smashing protons together outside Geneva this summer might produce a black hole or something else that will spell the end of the Earth — and maybe the universe.

Scientists say that is very unlikely — though they have done some checking just to make sure.

The world’s physicists have spent 14 years and $8 billion building the Large Hadron Collider, in which the colliding protons will recreate energies and conditions last seen a trillionth of a second after the Big Bang. Researchers will sift the debris from these primordial recreations for clues to the nature of mass and new forces and symmetries of nature.

But Walter L. Wagner and Luis Sancho contend that scientists at the European Center for Nuclear Research, or CERN, have played down the chances that the collider could produce, among other horrors, a tiny black hole, which, they say, could eat the Earth. Or it could spit out something called a “strangelet” that would convert our planet to a shrunken dense dead lump of something called “strange matter.” Their suit also says CERN has failed to provide an environmental impact statement as required under the National Environmental Policy Act.

Although it sounds bizarre, the case touches on a serious issue that has bothered scholars and scientists in recent years — namely how to estimate the risk of new groundbreaking experiments and who gets to decide whether or not to go ahead.

Full article at www.nytimes.com

We knew things were bad on Wall Street, but on Main Street it may be worse. Startling official statistics show that as a new economic recession stalks the United States, a record number of Americans will shortly be depending on food stamps just to feed themselves and their families.

Dismal projections by the Congressional Budget Office in Washington suggest that in the fiscal year starting in October, 28 million people in the US will be using government food stamps to buy essential groceries, the highest level since the food assistance programme was introduced in the 1960s.

The increase – from 26.5 million in 2007 – is due partly to recent efforts to increase public awareness of the programme and also a switch from paper coupons to electronic debit cards. But above all it is the pressures being exerted on ordinary Americans by an economy that is suddenly beset by troubles. Housing foreclosures, accelerating jobs losses and fast-rising prices all add to the squeeze.

Emblematic of the downturn until now has been the parades of houses seized in foreclosure all across the country, and myriad families separated from their homes. But now the crisis is starting to hit the country in its gut. Getting food on the table is a challenge many Americans are finding harder to meet. As a barometer of the country's economic health, food stamp usage may not be perfect, but can certainly tell a story.

Full Article at www.independent.co.uk

Get Some News

That's it, that's all.

I took some time off from the proverbial political mud season. I apologize, I know everyone sits on pins and needles awaiting my latest pissing and punditry. It gets tiring trying to follow the daily slinging. It can leave a person mentally incapable of doing anything other than reveling in reality TV to escape, um, reality.

I have some disturbing news and this will come as a shock. There are some really serious problems in the world. I apologize that you had to learn this on a hack web site fiasco like this. I guess that's just the way life rolls sometimes.

You are thinking "Whatevs Seth, I gots a hair appointment, who cares" or if you are like me a new razor and a beer; same endgame, who cares.

After a couple weeks of Bosnia trip this and Reverand Wright that, I think it is prudent to remind ourselves that despite what mainstream media would like us to believe; shit is really tough right now. Remember these; the war, the economy, and the climate. It appalls me that there are still those on mainstream television that refer to global warming as that "theory". Apparently the dislodging of a iceberg 41 km long by 2.5 km wide from the Wilkins Ice Shelf is due to theoretical warming or perhaps Yukon Cornelius moved south. Seriously, this is not a theory anymore, this is not 50 years out, this is now and we sit here debating whether Hillary was shot at in 1950 by Bosnian snipers or if some nutjob pastor makes the junior senator hate the US of A. Since you probably missed it, here is a quote on the iceshelf:

The entire ice shelf - the size of the Hawke's Bay region - is now in danger of disintegrating.

The destruction was captured in satellite pictures from the National Snow and Ice Data Center in the United States.

Scientists said a thin strand of ice about 6km wide was all that was stopping the remaining 13,680sq km shelf from collapsing.

Professor Tim Naish, of Victoria University's Antarctic Research Centre, said the breakup was part of a pattern seen for about 50 years. Ice breaks were fully expected.

"They're likely to be a more frequent event."

The Antarctic Peninsula had warmed by about 2½ degrees in the past 50 years - more than other parts of the world. Remnants of the shelf could end up near New Zealand, he said.
www.stuff.co.nz

I spent some time this week researching expat life in South Africa, reasons for which are unimportant. Holy snikeys, that place is a ever worsening mess. I am American, so I don't really pay attention to much, especially Africa. Here are the headlines from today's Star, the local paper for Johannseburg:

Cop fired after sexual harassment 2008-03-28 08:16:11
A senior Johannesburg metro police official has been fired and two others have quit.

Woman hijacked in Lombardy East 2008-03-28 08:14:31
A 40-year-old woman who came home at 1am has been hijacked, Johannesburg police have said.

At last, an unsuccessful ATM bombing 2008-03-28 08:20:32
Two ATMs have been bombed outside Pretoria, police have said.

'I could smell the stench of a dead body' 2008-03-28 07:14:24
Top cop Piet Byleveld has testified in the Pretoria High Court.

Attacked 'for being black and causing sh*t' 2008-03-28 10:29:42
Two young men claim to have been beaten up by "40 white men" after watching rugby at a prestigious Joburg school.

Unite to fight crime, says broken dad 2008-03-28 10:09:03
The father of slain dancer Esté van Rensburg has asked South Africans to declare war on crime.

www.int.iol.co.za

Makes me glad I have never been hijacked, shot, or car bombed, beverages withstanding. Needless to say, I won't be experiencing expat life in South Africa anytime soon.

So back to this DemoBrat mess, which sucks I might add. I wrote a couple weeks ago that the Superhero Delegates needed to man-up and put this thing to bed. It would appear that the need has only increased in urgency as Chris Dodd says:

I think the race has been determined, anyway, at this point. I think it’s very difficult to imagine how anyone can believe that Barack Obama can’t be the nominee of the party. I think that’s a foregone conclusion, in my view, at this juncture given where things are. But certainly over the next couple of weeks, as we get into April, it seems to me then, that the national leadership of this party has to stand up and reach a conclusion. And in the absence of doing that — and that’s not easy and I realize it’s painful — but the alternative, allowing this sort of to fester over the months of June, and July and August, I think are irresponsible.

and my friends at Reuters put it bluntly:

Somebody forgot to tell Hillary Clinton the Democratic presidential race is over and Barack Obama won.
...
Clinton has not been hearing those words of encouragement from a chorus of media commentators and Obama supporters who have questioned why she is pursuing her uphill fight to catch the Illinois senator.

The Politico newspaper declared Clinton "has virtually no chance of winning." A New York Times columnist called her campaign "the audacity of hopelessness" -- a pun on Obama's book "The Audacity of Hope."

New Mexico Gov. Bill Richardson, a Cabinet member for her husband Bill, the former president, said it was time for Democrats to rally around Obama -- and was called a "Judas" by Clinton loyalist James Carville for his views.
www.yahoo.com

Yes, this was a particularly low quality post, but admit it you learned something. Well I have moved my purple bracelet back and forth so many times that my wrists are all sorts of chaffed, I need some sleep and beer.